Mixed emotions...

I am confused... Utterly confused... It's just hard to describe the emotions I'm feeling now. I thought I had packed them away and never have to deal with it again, letting the bygones be bygones. There had been moments of brief joy but there were also silent aches, masked by a face that seldom betrays the inner thoughts. But no matter how hard I try...

I just can't forget.

Lord, help me not to get distracted. Let things be according to thy will. If it is part of your plan for me, so be it. But if it's not, help me understand that I can still rely on your promises, and that the matters running in my mind now are insignificant compared to the bigger plans you have for me. For you, Lord, know the struggles I am facing deep down inside, but I'm indeed glad and thankful that I can still find comfort in the generous love you have graciously showered me with...